Delusions of a Kyuubi Child
by Arufined
Summary: The Sandaime decided to tell Naruto about his tenant a little earlier...Now Naruto goes through life with a slightly different view of the world.


Sarutobi Asuma was one happy man. He had recently received a sizeable paycheck for an A-rank mission, the sun was shining, and he was on his way to see a beautiful kunoichi by the name of Kurenai. Yes, nothing could go wrong today!

And that was when he felt a shadow appear behind him. Asuma whirled around with a kunai in hand, ready to defend his life from this potential enemy. Instead of a menacing, seven foot tall shinobi his eyes were met with the sight of a small child with blonde, spiky hair. His eyes were downcast and his clothes were ripped. Understandably alarmed, Asuma immediately ran over to the child and was prepared to carry him to the hospital in order to receive treatment when suddenly…

"NO! Please don't hurt me shinobi-sama! I've already been beaten today!" screamed the small child.

Asuma recognized the child as the Kyuubi container, and despite the death of his mother at the hands of the 9 tailed Bijuu he held no grudge against him.

Asuma held up his hands in a placating gesture as he assumed a soothing tone and told the child: "Don't worry Naruto-san, I won't hurt you. I'm going to take you to the hospital, where the doctors can help fix you up."

Instead of calming down, the boy grew more agitated.

"OH MY GOD! Please don't cut me with that kunai shinobi-sama! I'm a good boy!"

Asuma could only stare in shocked silence as the boy rammed himself onto his kunai over and over again.

"THE PAIN! Oh Kami why do you hate me so much?!" wailed the boy as he watched himself bleed. "But all I can do is face forward and keep my eyes set on the future, no matter how much everyone hurts me. Because I'm going to be Hokage and make everyone respect me!"

Asuma threw away his kunai and picked up the bloodied child.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?! I don't hate you at all! I just want to help you! We need to go to the hospital right now!"

Naruto only smiled tiredly and whispered, "Shinobi-sama, you can beat me and stab me, but you'll never break my spirit!"

The nicotine addicted Sarutobi could only stare dumbly at the near unconscious child as he raced towards the hospital.

'_I need a drink…'_

_

* * *

  
_

Sarutobi Hiruzen, the God of Shinobi and supreme purveyor of porn, was currently drowning his sorrows with copious amounts of alcohol.

"Why me?" moaned the Sandaime. "Why couldn't Naruto be a well adjusted, calm kid?"

Sarutobi picked up another bottle and chugged it down before setting it down next to the half dozen empty bottles that lay on his desk.

"I can't believe I made such a huge mistake. I should never have told Naruto about the Kyuubi when he was three…now he thinks everyone is out to get him."

The aged Hokage could still remember the meeting he had with Naruto just a few hours ago….

Flashback

"_Naruto! What possessed you to jump on my son's kunai and scream wildly?"_

_The small boy's lips quivered as he stuttered out, "I didn't do anything…he was beating me and stabbing me!"_

_Sarutobi could only massage his temples from frustration. He had already seen the entire scene in his crystal ball. It was incredibly frustrating to deal with Naruto when he was like this. _

"_Asuma wouldn't hurt you Naruto…he's my son. I've raised him better than that."_

_Naruto merely shook his head as he hollered, "He hates me! Just like everyone else in Konoha except you jiji!"_

_The Hokage merely gave Naruto a pointed look. _

"_Oh? And how does "everyone in Konoha" hurt you Naruto?"_

_Naruto thought for a while._

"_Well….some of the shopkeepers won't let me shop at their stores!"_

"_That's because you painted all of their clothes orange."_

"_Well how about the restaurants!? They always throw me out!"_

"_Probably because you think the chefs are poisoning your food and scream bloody murder. Then you throw your food at your waiter's face."_

"_The orphanage starved me and threw me out! People give me dirty looks! The doctors and nurses at the hospital won't treat my injuries! And the stores I can shop at all charge me more than the price on the little tag!"_

"_Naruto…you ran away from the orphanage because the matron would only make you nine bowls of ramen instead of ten. Those dirty looks people give you? That's pity. There's a difference. The hospitals won't treat you because you don't have any actual injuries. You just rip up your clothes and squirt ketchup everywhere. And as for the overcharging? It's called tax Naruto."_

_Naruto only huffed and turned his back on the Hokage._

"_I knew you would take their side. I can't trust anyone in Konoha, I can only rely on myself!"_

_The Sandaime's perfect logic had been broken by the brick wall that was Naruto's stubbornness. _

"_Just…go back to the Namikaze estates Naruto."_

"_Jiji! You can't make me go back there! The adults make me sleep in a closet!"_

"_What are you talking about Naruto? You have six bedrooms, I just saw your room last week."_

_Naruto continued on as if he hadn't heard the Sandaime._

"_And they get my clothes and food from dumpsters, and steal from my allowance, and rip up my stuffed animals, and drive away all my friends, and make me do all the household work, and they yell at me if I don't do it fast enough!"_

_The Sandaime opened his mouth to reply but was cut off by Naruto's rambling tirade._

"_And the kids at the academy hate me, the instructors sabotage my learning, the tests are rigged against me, the doctors torture me with needles, the library won't let me take books, and…."_

_Sarutobi could only let his head collapse onto his desk and began to weep, all the while cursing kami with all the might "The Professor" of shinobi could muster._

_Several hours later, the child's list of "grievances" finally ended and he finished it off by screaming, "And even though no one's shown me any kindness or love, I'll make you all respect me by becoming Hokage. Believe it!"_


End file.
